So I've been pretty busy lately, but new things are a foot. I've been keeping busy writing some fiction which is the explanation for my long absence, as if anyone really cares. I could have updated sooner, but you can only say "busy writing other shit" so often before the words become meaningless.
Also, my good friend Sheldon has come up with an idea for a website. The contributors would be me, Sheldo, and a friend of his. I think the tentative title for this site is REDACTED (cause apparently I'm not allowed to say) .
I won't go into the details on what it's all about, but I will note I'm excited about the possibilities.
And that is that. I could go on and write another post, maybe continue my Adventures in Christianity series, but I'm tired.
Deal with it.
Edit: Sheldo says the website is secret, so no one tell anybody!
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
My Rememberance Day Tribute
Canadians kicking ass and taking names in Afghanistan.
I know its a day late. I didn't get the idea till now. Anyway, the video is totally badass.
I know its a day late. I didn't get the idea till now. Anyway, the video is totally badass.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Adventures in Christianity: Culture Warrior
It has taken me a long time to reconcile the ways I've experienced religion to what I feel about it now.
There was a time when I didn't question much about Western Christianity. The Bible was interpreted to say certain things, and I generally accepted that at face value.
Liberals wanted to destroy faith. The media was owned and operated by liberals with a liberal agenda. The left became not only a caricature, but a convenient scapegoat to unload all of societies ills. And every damn one of them had some agenda or another.
High divorce rates? Liberals undermining the sanctity of marriage. Or the gays. They are still working on that one.
More teens having sex? Liberal media making sex not sacred.
Economy sucks? Liberal politicians who took money from hard working people and gave it to lazy poor people.
And it was our job to take on the liberal/gay/commie agenda and win back the country for God.
Looking back on it all now, it all seemed so contrived. What were our goals? Some were concrete, like banning abortions. I remember our youth group being shown aborted fetuses to make us all see how bad it was to kill babies. Shock and awe.
But we were just kids. We never imagined there was another side of the debate. We were told that babies were being murdered, and here were the pictures (and video) to prove it. This was shown to some as young as 14. What chance did we have? It took me a long time to figure out that maybe some women get abortions for reasons other than they sold their soul to Satan. Like rape. Or they would die if they didn't.
We often heard about the gay agenda. I distinctly remember a Sunday school class where we were talking about homosexuals and someone said he wanted to take a torch and burn all the gays (I obviously lived in a pretty small town). We all laughed. Except our Sunday school teacher. She didn't think it was that funny, because we were to love the sinner. But even that was a bit to much for us. Of course, no one had a solution to whatever their agenda was. The best anyone has come up with is praying the gay away.
I later found out the gay agenda is for them to be treated like everyone else.
And it went on like this. Earlier I asked what the goals were. The goal was vaguely defined as winning the land for Jesus by warring with it's culture. We would bravely assault the fortress of secularism. And when that failed, we retreated into our own self-sustained mini-culture, complete with its own music, books, and politicians. That more than anything is why the whole things feels so contrived. We never tried to engage culture with dialog. We only wanted to conquer it. When we couldn't conquer it, we became like mad scientist and engineered our own.
In all this lies my frustration. I was told to fight a battle for Jesus, only to find out much later that all I was doing was defending a status quo that was never my own, nor did I ever have a say in. Christians are supposed to have the inside scoop on truth because God Himself revealed the truth through Jesus and through the Bible. But we don't do any better than the rest of the world. We divorce just us often as the rest of western civilization. Conservatives look at just as much pornography. Also, we're probably just as gay.
So we gossip, lie, and sleep around just like everyone else. The only difference is we keep saying how bad it is everyone does it and how we all should stop.
Where does all this insanity end? I don't know. I suppose a good step would be to leave our Christian coffee shops and books stores and go to someplace that's not literally selling Jesus.
Also, maybe we should stop spreading such ridiculous misinformation about what going on in our culture. Homosexuals are not tricking young men and women into having sex with them. We could have honest discussions on the role of government over a woman's reproductive rights instead of knee jerk reactions.
Finally, we should pick our battles more carefully. Fighting poverty is a winner. Fighting Muslims? Probably should have taken a pass on that one.
In the end, I don't know what to expect. Will the church change? Maybe. To paraphrase an old hippie saying; What if someone had a war and nobody showed up?
What if we just stopped fighting what we can't (and should never be allowed to ) control?
Jesus said if we loved each other like we love ourselves, we've summed up the entire Bible just like that.
Imagine a faith with no sharp edges to cut ourselves on.
There was a time when I didn't question much about Western Christianity. The Bible was interpreted to say certain things, and I generally accepted that at face value.
Liberals wanted to destroy faith. The media was owned and operated by liberals with a liberal agenda. The left became not only a caricature, but a convenient scapegoat to unload all of societies ills. And every damn one of them had some agenda or another.
High divorce rates? Liberals undermining the sanctity of marriage. Or the gays. They are still working on that one.
More teens having sex? Liberal media making sex not sacred.
Economy sucks? Liberal politicians who took money from hard working people and gave it to lazy poor people.
And it was our job to take on the liberal/gay/commie agenda and win back the country for God.
Looking back on it all now, it all seemed so contrived. What were our goals? Some were concrete, like banning abortions. I remember our youth group being shown aborted fetuses to make us all see how bad it was to kill babies. Shock and awe.
But we were just kids. We never imagined there was another side of the debate. We were told that babies were being murdered, and here were the pictures (and video) to prove it. This was shown to some as young as 14. What chance did we have? It took me a long time to figure out that maybe some women get abortions for reasons other than they sold their soul to Satan. Like rape. Or they would die if they didn't.
We often heard about the gay agenda. I distinctly remember a Sunday school class where we were talking about homosexuals and someone said he wanted to take a torch and burn all the gays (I obviously lived in a pretty small town). We all laughed. Except our Sunday school teacher. She didn't think it was that funny, because we were to love the sinner. But even that was a bit to much for us. Of course, no one had a solution to whatever their agenda was. The best anyone has come up with is praying the gay away.
I later found out the gay agenda is for them to be treated like everyone else.
And it went on like this. Earlier I asked what the goals were. The goal was vaguely defined as winning the land for Jesus by warring with it's culture. We would bravely assault the fortress of secularism. And when that failed, we retreated into our own self-sustained mini-culture, complete with its own music, books, and politicians. That more than anything is why the whole things feels so contrived. We never tried to engage culture with dialog. We only wanted to conquer it. When we couldn't conquer it, we became like mad scientist and engineered our own.
In all this lies my frustration. I was told to fight a battle for Jesus, only to find out much later that all I was doing was defending a status quo that was never my own, nor did I ever have a say in. Christians are supposed to have the inside scoop on truth because God Himself revealed the truth through Jesus and through the Bible. But we don't do any better than the rest of the world. We divorce just us often as the rest of western civilization. Conservatives look at just as much pornography. Also, we're probably just as gay.
So we gossip, lie, and sleep around just like everyone else. The only difference is we keep saying how bad it is everyone does it and how we all should stop.
Where does all this insanity end? I don't know. I suppose a good step would be to leave our Christian coffee shops and books stores and go to someplace that's not literally selling Jesus.
Also, maybe we should stop spreading such ridiculous misinformation about what going on in our culture. Homosexuals are not tricking young men and women into having sex with them. We could have honest discussions on the role of government over a woman's reproductive rights instead of knee jerk reactions.
Finally, we should pick our battles more carefully. Fighting poverty is a winner. Fighting Muslims? Probably should have taken a pass on that one.
In the end, I don't know what to expect. Will the church change? Maybe. To paraphrase an old hippie saying; What if someone had a war and nobody showed up?
What if we just stopped fighting what we can't (and should never be allowed to ) control?
Jesus said if we loved each other like we love ourselves, we've summed up the entire Bible just like that.
Imagine a faith with no sharp edges to cut ourselves on.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Saturday Night Weird
Just saw Lady Gaga live on Saturday Night Live. Now, I have a crazy high tolerance for weird. But this chick is wack, even from a performance arts perspective. I can't even explain it. Youtube it if you get the chance.
As a side note, I plan on continuing my Adventures in Christianity series, or AIC for short. I am just working on the series. So I may have a bunch of posts come up at the same time. Deal with it.
UPDATE: Weekend Update on SNL was pretty funny. Minus the Charles Barkley part.
As a side note, I plan on continuing my Adventures in Christianity series, or AIC for short. I am just working on the series. So I may have a bunch of posts come up at the same time. Deal with it.
UPDATE: Weekend Update on SNL was pretty funny. Minus the Charles Barkley part.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Been thinking
and I'm seriously considering getting rid of my visit counter on the bottom of my blog. Its just depressing to look at. Though I do admit a certain thrill when I see the number go up by one. Then again, that is quickly followed by shame as I realize that I brought the count up by continuing to check to see if I have new comments. Or to see if the counter went up. Which it does, but only because I keep checking. You see what a vicious cycle this has become?
Adventures in Christianity: Crash course
Going to church was simply a part of my young life, like going to school. I took part in the Christmas plays, Sunday schools, and youth groups. When I got older, I led worship and once even preached a sermon.
Summers were spent at Bible camp. There I met new friends and had countless crushes on girls. Mornings and evenings were chapel times. We had loud worship music and energetic sermons.
I was fully integrated into the establishment. Yet, I never felt completely a part of it.
When I was a child, I never bothered to question what the church was doing, or the social values they preached. For me, church simply was what existed. I might as well have questioned why I had a dad and a mom.
My dad took a break from the pulpit after Herbert, though that didn't slow our involvement in the church at all. Dad got into public works, and would spend over 8 years in that career until he felt called back into ministry. But as far as church went, we didn't skip a beat.
When Dad worked in Luseland, he took time off in the summer to do a kids ministry at Luseland Bible Camp. There, I helped him with the puppet show. It turns out I had a knack for funny voices. Thank you puberty.
Yet, as I grew up, I begin questioning the usefulness in what I was involved in. Being in a church where I grew up meant you were conservative, pro-choice, free-market loving, and never talked about sex except to comment how bad it was that everyone seemed be doing it.
I believed (and to this day, still do) believe in the Bible and in Christ. But I couldn't reconcile what I knew about Jesus and the political views pushed by the Church. And by my parents. As I began to slowly reject those various political views, a resentment started to build within me. I resented feeling I had to believe in a system that had little to do with loving others as ourselves, and more about trying to preserve some sort of status quo that I'm not sure ever existed in the first place. I honestly have had conversations with Christians who think that homosexuals try to trick other people into being gay (they call it recruiting. Like its the fucking army or something). And that liberals want woman to have abortions. Let me tell you, these never turn into thoughtful debates.
I look back at my involvement in church over the years, and I admit there was fun. I met good friends who I'm close to this day
But I never needed the church to have fun with friends. I needed the church to teach me about social justice, and about helping those who are the least of us. Instead, I got a crash course in social conservatism.
It became like that bike I tried to climb on all those years ago. It was something I was supposed to love and enjoy, but instead it fell and cut me open.
Keep reading for more Adventures in Christianity.
Summers were spent at Bible camp. There I met new friends and had countless crushes on girls. Mornings and evenings were chapel times. We had loud worship music and energetic sermons.
I was fully integrated into the establishment. Yet, I never felt completely a part of it.
When I was a child, I never bothered to question what the church was doing, or the social values they preached. For me, church simply was what existed. I might as well have questioned why I had a dad and a mom.
My dad took a break from the pulpit after Herbert, though that didn't slow our involvement in the church at all. Dad got into public works, and would spend over 8 years in that career until he felt called back into ministry. But as far as church went, we didn't skip a beat.
When Dad worked in Luseland, he took time off in the summer to do a kids ministry at Luseland Bible Camp. There, I helped him with the puppet show. It turns out I had a knack for funny voices. Thank you puberty.
Yet, as I grew up, I begin questioning the usefulness in what I was involved in. Being in a church where I grew up meant you were conservative, pro-choice, free-market loving, and never talked about sex except to comment how bad it was that everyone seemed be doing it.
I believed (and to this day, still do) believe in the Bible and in Christ. But I couldn't reconcile what I knew about Jesus and the political views pushed by the Church. And by my parents. As I began to slowly reject those various political views, a resentment started to build within me. I resented feeling I had to believe in a system that had little to do with loving others as ourselves, and more about trying to preserve some sort of status quo that I'm not sure ever existed in the first place. I honestly have had conversations with Christians who think that homosexuals try to trick other people into being gay (they call it recruiting. Like its the fucking army or something). And that liberals want woman to have abortions. Let me tell you, these never turn into thoughtful debates.
I look back at my involvement in church over the years, and I admit there was fun. I met good friends who I'm close to this day
But I never needed the church to have fun with friends. I needed the church to teach me about social justice, and about helping those who are the least of us. Instead, I got a crash course in social conservatism.
It became like that bike I tried to climb on all those years ago. It was something I was supposed to love and enjoy, but instead it fell and cut me open.
Keep reading for more Adventures in Christianity.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Scott's Adventures in Christianity. An Introduction
I'm about 7 fingers deep into a bottle of whiskey right now. At least I think so. I emptied the bottle.
Work sucked today. Which is fine. Bad days happen. Tomorrow could easily be the best day of my life. I see no point in worrying. That my friends, is perspective.
I'm thinking about religion now. As usual. For those who don't know my well, I have a fairly strong views on religion. I'm a Christian. I'm a believer.
But what does this mean to me now?
My journey into religion started at birth. I was born the oldest son of a pastor in a Pentecostal church. The town it resides in is called Oxbow. Right next to the American border. My parents should have planned it so I could have been born inAmerica
I have no real memories of my time in that small town. Family legend says I was the last baby to be born in that hospital before it closed due to budget cuts. Another weird Reagan legacy leeching its way through Canadian borders.
My first real memories of being in church involve another small town called Herbert. It had a strong Mennonite heritage, or so I was told later. We were only there for a few years. Long enough for me to scar my hand on the motorcycle my dad kept in the driveway.
You see, my dad loved to ride those bikes. Sometimes he would take me with him. I would sit at the front and he would sit behind me, keeping me safe as we explored the cold frontier ofSaskatchewan
On Sunday, Dad had left for early to prepare the church. Mom was getting me and the rest of the kids ready. It was during this morning rush, she lost track of me. I had wondered outside because I was bored of waiting. I was already dressed for church in my dress pants and tiny dress sweater. So I wandered up to the motorbike that sat in our driveway. I decided to climb up. Perhaps I wanted to experience the thrill of sitting on the beast as it took me across the wind-swept prairie. Or it could have been I longed for the security of being next to my father as we adventured through town. For whatever reason, I tried to climb the motorcycle. Of course, the thing fell on me and the brake handle broke off, slicing my four year old hand. The scar remains. Long and shaped like an "s". The doctor did a poor job of stitching it. It left me with a webbed finger. Seriously.
At any rate, I remember the shock of my mom's face as I cried out for her on the cold pavement. My blood seemed to pour down the incline of the driveway. I remember wondering briefly if I was going to die (I had never really been hurt before).
To this day, my parents talk about it. They figure I tried to climb the bike because I loved going on rides with my dad so much.
The odd thing is I have no memories at all of being on that bike. No dreams of the wind cooling my face as my father and I tame the wilderness on two wheels. I don't remember laughing with glee as we hit bumps and I rise gently in my seat feeling safe in the arms of the one who loves me best.
My only memory is of it spilling my blood on a cold morning, and watching it leak into the earth.
Stay tuned for more Adventures in Christianity.
Work sucked today. Which is fine. Bad days happen. Tomorrow could easily be the best day of my life. I see no point in worrying. That my friends, is perspective.
I'm thinking about religion now. As usual. For those who don't know my well, I have a fairly strong views on religion. I'm a Christian. I'm a believer.
But what does this mean to me now?
My journey into religion started at birth. I was born the oldest son of a pastor in a Pentecostal church. The town it resides in is called Oxbow. Right next to the American border. My parents should have planned it so I could have been born in
I have no real memories of my time in that small town. Family legend says I was the last baby to be born in that hospital before it closed due to budget cuts. Another weird Reagan legacy leeching its way through Canadian borders.
My first real memories of being in church involve another small town called Herbert. It had a strong Mennonite heritage, or so I was told later. We were only there for a few years. Long enough for me to scar my hand on the motorcycle my dad kept in the driveway.
You see, my dad loved to ride those bikes. Sometimes he would take me with him. I would sit at the front and he would sit behind me, keeping me safe as we explored the cold frontier of
On Sunday, Dad had left for early to prepare the church. Mom was getting me and the rest of the kids ready. It was during this morning rush, she lost track of me. I had wondered outside because I was bored of waiting. I was already dressed for church in my dress pants and tiny dress sweater. So I wandered up to the motorbike that sat in our driveway. I decided to climb up. Perhaps I wanted to experience the thrill of sitting on the beast as it took me across the wind-swept prairie. Or it could have been I longed for the security of being next to my father as we adventured through town. For whatever reason, I tried to climb the motorcycle. Of course, the thing fell on me and the brake handle broke off, slicing my four year old hand. The scar remains. Long and shaped like an "s". The doctor did a poor job of stitching it. It left me with a webbed finger. Seriously.
At any rate, I remember the shock of my mom's face as I cried out for her on the cold pavement. My blood seemed to pour down the incline of the driveway. I remember wondering briefly if I was going to die (I had never really been hurt before).
To this day, my parents talk about it. They figure I tried to climb the bike because I loved going on rides with my dad so much.
The odd thing is I have no memories at all of being on that bike. No dreams of the wind cooling my face as my father and I tame the wilderness on two wheels. I don't remember laughing with glee as we hit bumps and I rise gently in my seat feeling safe in the arms of the one who loves me best.
My only memory is of it spilling my blood on a cold morning, and watching it leak into the earth.
Stay tuned for more Adventures in Christianity.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Crazy? Don't mind if I do.
Its 2:34 am. Why the hell am I still up?
Oh yeah. I don't work till 11.
Want to go to bed but can't stop reading stupid blog about psychotic insecure men. Damn you Sheldon and your ridiculous knowledge of the world wide blogosphere.
I've read so many that I'm starting to project all over the place. . . I am now deathly concerned I am becoming one of those crazy guys that spends their nights completely alone with only the glow of the computer screen to keep them warm. I'm seeing every interaction I've had with the female race through the gnawing fear of being a needy lame duck sociopath.
I don't even know what I meant by that.
And now my blog has become my own Frankenstein hybrid of twitter/facebook. Except no one is forced to look at it the updates.
. . . I wonder whats on Youtube . . .
Oh yeah. I don't work till 11.
Want to go to bed but can't stop reading stupid blog about psychotic insecure men. Damn you Sheldon and your ridiculous knowledge of the world wide blogosphere.
I've read so many that I'm starting to project all over the place. . . I am now deathly concerned I am becoming one of those crazy guys that spends their nights completely alone with only the glow of the computer screen to keep them warm. I'm seeing every interaction I've had with the female race through the gnawing fear of being a needy lame duck sociopath.
I don't even know what I meant by that.
And now my blog has become my own Frankenstein hybrid of twitter/facebook. Except no one is forced to look at it the updates.
. . . I wonder whats on Youtube . . .
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
So I'm not dead.
Now, I understand that there are few people who probably check out my blog anymore. Which is fine. I'm not caring to much about that anymore (adding: Damn you Sheldon and Matt for your continued blogging success).
Basically, I got a new job repairing furniture that required me to live in Winnipeg for a while and then when I got back I had no access to the interweb. This is the explaination for my absence.
But now I have my own place (where I live all by my lonesome) and have my very own handy dandy intertube connection device. Life is good.
I hung out with Sheldon last night and he reminded me that I enjoy blogging, and indeed, I even have a blog.
As far as content, I'll probably still post stupid shit and thoughts I think are Made of Awesome. And when the mood strikes, I'll do up a proper brain thinkin' blog.
Love always.
Me
Basically, I got a new job repairing furniture that required me to live in Winnipeg for a while and then when I got back I had no access to the interweb. This is the explaination for my absence.
But now I have my own place (where I live all by my lonesome) and have my very own handy dandy intertube connection device. Life is good.
I hung out with Sheldon last night and he reminded me that I enjoy blogging, and indeed, I even have a blog.
As far as content, I'll probably still post stupid shit and thoughts I think are Made of Awesome. And when the mood strikes, I'll do up a proper brain thinkin' blog.
Love always.
Me
Thursday, May 28, 2009
For days when I don't like me.
As a disclaimer, I should point out I'm generally a pretty happy person.
Yet, of late I've spent a lot of time thinking about who I am as an individual, and what that really means. I've questioned how I interact with the world, and what effect I have on it.
Unfortunately, I think I'm going through an existential crisis.
Even more unfortunately, that sounds really, really gay.
But whatever, that’s just how it is.
I think this all started when I got laid off from my job. I was cabinet making, and I actually really liked doing it. I had a plans and for the first time in a while, a goal for my life.
And suddenly it just all went away. Apparently God has a sense of humor that is far more sophisticated than mine.
At first, I felt ok. After that I felt sad. Then really panicky. Finally, I stopped caring.
This is not good for a number of reasons.
I have found through personal experience that the second you stop caring for yourself, by extension you stop caring for everything around you. It makes perfect sense. By nature we all love each ourselves first, and depending on how good we feel about ourselves at any given moments is usually an indicator on how we will treat other people. If you feel like crap about your week, you'll probably be a crappy person to be around.
So my challenge of late has been trying to act like a decent human being despite feeling my life is one big empty canvass.
But it’s not really me I want to discuss.
I have to wonder why being good to people is so hard, even in the best of times. If we're feeling happy about our lives, it’s easy to be nice to friends. Or beautiful people. But usually we gloss over the ugly things in life because thinking about them too much would kill our buzz. I find the most prudent thing in these times is to make fun of the "ugly" because it shows how much better we are for being lovely. What outrageous selfishness.
On the flip side, if we're feeling awful about ourselves, there is nothing more we'd like more than to watch the world burn. Especially the beautiful things. We instinctively demand that all share in our misery, and in our ugliness. What awful narcissism.
I'm starting to think this is the root of all sin.
For us to be good people no matter what we feel about what's going on, we have be counter intuitive. When I feel pretty good about how life is going, I have to share that joy with the hopeless and the miserable. Contrarily, when I despair I should probably reach out to someone who can help me even though I may hate the thought of it.
For all of life's complexities, I find it shocking that solutions are found in the simplest things. Like loving others like we love ourselves. If we all took a good hard look in the mirror, we tend to think we're pretty great. And if we insist on liking ourselves so much, we should at least earn it.
May God forgive us.
God, forgive me.
Yet, of late I've spent a lot of time thinking about who I am as an individual, and what that really means. I've questioned how I interact with the world, and what effect I have on it.
Unfortunately, I think I'm going through an existential crisis.
Even more unfortunately, that sounds really, really gay.
But whatever, that’s just how it is.
I think this all started when I got laid off from my job. I was cabinet making, and I actually really liked doing it. I had a plans and for the first time in a while, a goal for my life.
And suddenly it just all went away. Apparently God has a sense of humor that is far more sophisticated than mine.
At first, I felt ok. After that I felt sad. Then really panicky. Finally, I stopped caring.
This is not good for a number of reasons.
I have found through personal experience that the second you stop caring for yourself, by extension you stop caring for everything around you. It makes perfect sense. By nature we all love each ourselves first, and depending on how good we feel about ourselves at any given moments is usually an indicator on how we will treat other people. If you feel like crap about your week, you'll probably be a crappy person to be around.
So my challenge of late has been trying to act like a decent human being despite feeling my life is one big empty canvass.
But it’s not really me I want to discuss.
I have to wonder why being good to people is so hard, even in the best of times. If we're feeling happy about our lives, it’s easy to be nice to friends. Or beautiful people. But usually we gloss over the ugly things in life because thinking about them too much would kill our buzz. I find the most prudent thing in these times is to make fun of the "ugly" because it shows how much better we are for being lovely. What outrageous selfishness.
On the flip side, if we're feeling awful about ourselves, there is nothing more we'd like more than to watch the world burn. Especially the beautiful things. We instinctively demand that all share in our misery, and in our ugliness. What awful narcissism.
I'm starting to think this is the root of all sin.
For us to be good people no matter what we feel about what's going on, we have be counter intuitive. When I feel pretty good about how life is going, I have to share that joy with the hopeless and the miserable. Contrarily, when I despair I should probably reach out to someone who can help me even though I may hate the thought of it.
For all of life's complexities, I find it shocking that solutions are found in the simplest things. Like loving others like we love ourselves. If we all took a good hard look in the mirror, we tend to think we're pretty great. And if we insist on liking ourselves so much, we should at least earn it.
May God forgive us.
God, forgive me.
UPDATE: Another shout out to Sheldon
Well, I suck at keeping up with this. 20+ days since I have wrote anything. Believe me, its not because I don't have ideas. I actually had come up with a bunch of blog posts in my head, but I'm never anywhere near a computer when it happens.
Another thing that's kept me from the blogosphere is that I'm working on a novel, so that takes up a lot of my writing energy.
Still, I really enjoy this outlet. Sheldon texted me to write a new one, and so here I am.
Sheldon, I'm sorry I got to it a bit later than I said.
Anyways, my new "serious" blog will be posted above.
Basically, this is me creating needless apologetic filler.
Another thing that's kept me from the blogosphere is that I'm working on a novel, so that takes up a lot of my writing energy.
Still, I really enjoy this outlet. Sheldon texted me to write a new one, and so here I am.
Sheldon, I'm sorry I got to it a bit later than I said.
Anyways, my new "serious" blog will be posted above.
Basically, this is me creating needless apologetic filler.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Oh come on!
As of today, I have 137 visits to my blog.
Matt and Sheldon have almost 600.
I hate them so much.
Matt and Sheldon have almost 600.
I hate them so much.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
My head is where ideas go to die.
I'm a victim of self-censoring. There are times when I was going to write a post, but stopped myself cause I was afraid I'd offend someone I know.
Screw it.
I'm just going to go out and say enough is enough. From this point on, if I have an idea or thought I that I feel is valid, I'm just going to throw it out there.
PENIS!
What? What are you going to do about it? Nothing! Thats what! BOW BEFORE MY LIBERATION PEASANTS!!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHahahahaha. . . ha. . . hmm.
*sigh*
I'm lonely.
Screw it.
I'm just going to go out and say enough is enough. From this point on, if I have an idea or thought I that I feel is valid, I'm just going to throw it out there.
PENIS!
What? What are you going to do about it? Nothing! Thats what! BOW BEFORE MY LIBERATION PEASANTS!!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHahahahaha. . . ha. . . hmm.
*sigh*
I'm lonely.
This is where I'm at.
So I have spent my entire evening so far reading a webcomic. But I'm not going to tell whoever reads this which one it is because I'm a jerk. Unless you ask me nicely.
But that's beside the point. I'm haven't posted anything in a month. I wish I had more. I really want to be the kind of person that is full on interesting, pithy dialogue and everyone want to know what's going on in my head.
This leads me to suspect I may have self-esteem issues.
Let me be transparent for a while. I don't particularly think I'm that good of a person. I actually am quite aware of various flaws. I think can be very self-absorbed. It sucks. I kinda think that I overcompensate for this by desiring universal acclaim. This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I sometimes imagine myself as well-respected writer whose opinion on things everyone wants to know. That's pretty lame.
I console myself by thinking that I can't be the only one who feels this. Deep down, everyone person wants to be loved and adored on some level. Obviously there are those who shy away from any and all attention, but they are still creatures who demand that someone love them. Maybe this is what people call a "God-shaped hole". I used to think that was a stupid term, but not anymore. It just makes too much sense.
I find the ones we crave to love us the most are the ones who let us down the hardest, which is generally how interpersonal relationships have always been. The danger is if we let the fact we're never going to be perfectly loved by people get to us. If that happens, than we become small miserable beasts who love dark cynical things and hate everything else.
I certainly don't want to become that twisted. This is where the whole "God-shaped hole thingy" comes in.
The solution to this seems to be not defining ourselves by how others imperfectly love us. I suggest we come to an understanding that its God who loves us perfectly, and let that sort of trickle down to the rest of our lives. I mean, I believe in God and that He's perfect and He really loves me. I want to take that knowledge, and make it like the ocean. From that big wonderful source are the basic building blocks of life. If God's love is really transformational like He says it is, than letting it exist in my life will be the source from which everything else flows. So if people don't love me they way I want them to, I'm ok cause I'm connected to something infinitely more powerful. And when I screw up, I don't need to overcompensate by looking for validation in silly places.
I know I'm not covering this whole subject in much depth. Hell, I'm not sure I could ever do the subject much justice. I guess I'm just shouting out in the deep cavernous intertubes hoping to hear something wonderful echo back.
By the way, if anyone out there doesn't believe in God or give Him much thought, maybe check Him out. I promise it won't do any harm.
Just throwing the suggestion out there.
On a near related subject, I really want to try to be more consistent with these posts. Like actually post more. At least once a week.
And not for attention.
Right now I really just want to create something.
But that's beside the point. I'm haven't posted anything in a month. I wish I had more. I really want to be the kind of person that is full on interesting, pithy dialogue and everyone want to know what's going on in my head.
This leads me to suspect I may have self-esteem issues.
Let me be transparent for a while. I don't particularly think I'm that good of a person. I actually am quite aware of various flaws. I think can be very self-absorbed. It sucks. I kinda think that I overcompensate for this by desiring universal acclaim. This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I sometimes imagine myself as well-respected writer whose opinion on things everyone wants to know. That's pretty lame.
I console myself by thinking that I can't be the only one who feels this. Deep down, everyone person wants to be loved and adored on some level. Obviously there are those who shy away from any and all attention, but they are still creatures who demand that someone love them. Maybe this is what people call a "God-shaped hole". I used to think that was a stupid term, but not anymore. It just makes too much sense.
I find the ones we crave to love us the most are the ones who let us down the hardest, which is generally how interpersonal relationships have always been. The danger is if we let the fact we're never going to be perfectly loved by people get to us. If that happens, than we become small miserable beasts who love dark cynical things and hate everything else.
I certainly don't want to become that twisted. This is where the whole "God-shaped hole thingy" comes in.
The solution to this seems to be not defining ourselves by how others imperfectly love us. I suggest we come to an understanding that its God who loves us perfectly, and let that sort of trickle down to the rest of our lives. I mean, I believe in God and that He's perfect and He really loves me. I want to take that knowledge, and make it like the ocean. From that big wonderful source are the basic building blocks of life. If God's love is really transformational like He says it is, than letting it exist in my life will be the source from which everything else flows. So if people don't love me they way I want them to, I'm ok cause I'm connected to something infinitely more powerful. And when I screw up, I don't need to overcompensate by looking for validation in silly places.
I know I'm not covering this whole subject in much depth. Hell, I'm not sure I could ever do the subject much justice. I guess I'm just shouting out in the deep cavernous intertubes hoping to hear something wonderful echo back.
By the way, if anyone out there doesn't believe in God or give Him much thought, maybe check Him out. I promise it won't do any harm.
Just throwing the suggestion out there.
On a near related subject, I really want to try to be more consistent with these posts. Like actually post more. At least once a week.
And not for attention.
Right now I really just want to create something.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Presenting! A Rage Inducing Cover Song! I think. . .
I couldn't get past 2 minutes.
Let me know how you do.
And for the life of me I can't tell if she's serious.
I usually have good instincts for these kind of things. Take Joaquin Phoenix. The guy is totally putting on an act. But this girl? Damned if I know.
UPDATE: Turns out I couldn't make it past 1 minute.
Let me know how you do.
And for the life of me I can't tell if she's serious.
I usually have good instincts for these kind of things. Take Joaquin Phoenix. The guy is totally putting on an act. But this girl? Damned if I know.
UPDATE: Turns out I couldn't make it past 1 minute.
Friday, March 20, 2009
And now for something completely different
This is a clip from a show called "The Adventures of Mark Twain".
I believe it was a childrens show.
I dare you to watch it in the dark, with creepy candles.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMX2eyvMj78
UPDATE: Ok. So its from an 80's movie called "The Adventures of Mark Twain", and this is loosely based on an unpublished work.
Not going to lie to you, the more I watch it, the more I'm starting to dig it.
I believe it was a childrens show.
I dare you to watch it in the dark, with creepy candles.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMX2eyvMj78
UPDATE: Ok. So its from an 80's movie called "The Adventures of Mark Twain", and this is loosely based on an unpublished work.
Not going to lie to you, the more I watch it, the more I'm starting to dig it.
Now for something serious
I was thinking:
There are miles of separation from what I see the Christian church as, and what I think it could be.
I used to go all the time (often out a sense of duty), but now I haven't seen gone to a service regularly in over 2 years. It hasn't been out of laziness, bitterness, or harsh feelings. The sermons were usually fine. Sometimes they were terrible. I accepted. Never was a big deal.
I also have understood the concept of fellowship between believers being important for supporting and encouraging each other. No qualms there at all.
The reason I lost interest is hard to put my finger on.
Some of it has to do with a polarization of politics within the church. To be involved in an evangelical church, you are generally expected to have fairly conservative social views. Myself, I just don't.
An example of this is when it’s expected you'll vote for someone just because he/she claims to b a Christian (or at least pro-life). For the record, I think a person can be a Christian and be pro-choice.
But that's only a small part of my problem.
I think I have trouble reconciling the kind of person I feel that I am and the sort of person the Christian community expects me to be. Fill in the blanks with whatever adjectives you want. Most of you should know what I mean.
Where is the line between "submitting to authority" and living within a self-imposed dictatorship? How can there be fellowship if you’re not the person the church wants to hear from?
I have no idea myself. I honestly just want to show Christ to other people through my life, as best I can, wherever I can.
There are miles of separation from what I see the Christian church as, and what I think it could be.
I used to go all the time (often out a sense of duty), but now I haven't seen gone to a service regularly in over 2 years. It hasn't been out of laziness, bitterness, or harsh feelings. The sermons were usually fine. Sometimes they were terrible. I accepted. Never was a big deal.
I also have understood the concept of fellowship between believers being important for supporting and encouraging each other. No qualms there at all.
The reason I lost interest is hard to put my finger on.
Some of it has to do with a polarization of politics within the church. To be involved in an evangelical church, you are generally expected to have fairly conservative social views. Myself, I just don't.
An example of this is when it’s expected you'll vote for someone just because he/she claims to b a Christian (or at least pro-life). For the record, I think a person can be a Christian and be pro-choice.
But that's only a small part of my problem.
I think I have trouble reconciling the kind of person I feel that I am and the sort of person the Christian community expects me to be. Fill in the blanks with whatever adjectives you want. Most of you should know what I mean.
Where is the line between "submitting to authority" and living within a self-imposed dictatorship? How can there be fellowship if you’re not the person the church wants to hear from?
I have no idea myself. I honestly just want to show Christ to other people through my life, as best I can, wherever I can.
Waste some more time
Some John Mayer for you guys. Incredible live performance.
And yes, I do plan on eventually having substantial blogs that people can discuss, but I figure I need to get more people on board.
So in the mean time, its time wasters and jokes that are in questionable taste.
And the occasional funny story.
I mean, why not? Right?
Waste some time
I'm a big fan of Kevin Smith. So here is a hilarious video of him talking about when he was hired to write a new Superman script, and the crazy producer he had to work with.
Its pretty long and it contains profanity.
Totally worth it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgYhLIThTvk
Its pretty long and it contains profanity.
Totally worth it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgYhLIThTvk
Thursday, March 19, 2009
For the record. . .
I should direct your attention to the links of websites I like. You'll note that there is one called "The Curious Case of Sheldon and Matt". Check out the blog for yourself and you'll see what they are about.
Matt and Sheldon are two good friends of mine. In fact, Sheldon and I were roommates for like a year and a half. The three of us had much fun.
Actually, in retrospect most of our time was spent being dicks to each other and generally trying to one up the other person. This achieved mixed results. Just ask Matt's chest hair.
Anyway, they have this blog now, and I thought "Here's my chance to have a blog that isn't terrible (I used to have a terrible blog that sucked the life out of myself and whoever was unfortunate enough to read it) while at the same time trying to be cooler than Sheldon and Matt."
Now, I'm at a disadvantage. Its two against one. Since their blog was started yesterday, they've had over 70 visitors. As of this writing, I have yet to breach 5. Yet, I have have confidence that
with hard work and brazen, shameless self-promoting, I will penetrate (that’s what she said) the upper echelon of the blogosphere. Or at least be as popular as Sheldon and Matt.
Thank you.
P.S. Would it kill you guys to leave some comments? The general idea of this thing is to create some conversation. Jeeez.
Matt and Sheldon are two good friends of mine. In fact, Sheldon and I were roommates for like a year and a half. The three of us had much fun.
Actually, in retrospect most of our time was spent being dicks to each other and generally trying to one up the other person. This achieved mixed results. Just ask Matt's chest hair.
Anyway, they have this blog now, and I thought "Here's my chance to have a blog that isn't terrible (I used to have a terrible blog that sucked the life out of myself and whoever was unfortunate enough to read it) while at the same time trying to be cooler than Sheldon and Matt."
Now, I'm at a disadvantage. Its two against one. Since their blog was started yesterday, they've had over 70 visitors. As of this writing, I have yet to breach 5. Yet, I have have confidence that
with hard work and brazen, shameless self-promoting, I will penetrate (that’s what she said) the upper echelon of the blogosphere. Or at least be as popular as Sheldon and Matt.
Thank you.
P.S. Would it kill you guys to leave some comments? The general idea of this thing is to create some conversation. Jeeez.
Inappropriate humor
This made me think of that South Park episode with Jared from Subway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBkVuT5pw1g
Worst.Marketing.Idea.Ever
Update: Feel free to link any videos that you find tragically funny.
Like when a clown dies. <---Simpsons reference.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBkVuT5pw1g
Worst.Marketing.Idea.Ever
Update: Feel free to link any videos that you find tragically funny.
Like when a clown dies. <---Simpsons reference.
Testing?!?
Hi. First post here.
To get the ball rolling, I think I'll just. . .see if anyone wants to comment and tell me if they think this whole thing is a good idea. I'll be checking religiously. Like OCD religious.
Or PAOC religious. You guys know what I mean. . .
Seriously though.
Scott
P.S. I'm gonna be experimenting with different blog formats, so if feel free to offer advice on how I can improve this thing. And yes, I am that insecure.
To get the ball rolling, I think I'll just. . .see if anyone wants to comment and tell me if they think this whole thing is a good idea. I'll be checking religiously. Like OCD religious.
Or PAOC religious. You guys know what I mean. . .
Seriously though.
Scott
P.S. I'm gonna be experimenting with different blog formats, so if feel free to offer advice on how I can improve this thing. And yes, I am that insecure.
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