Adventures in Christianity: Crash course

Going to church was simply a part of my young life, like going to school. I took part in the Christmas plays, Sunday schools, and youth groups. When I got older, I led worship and once even preached a sermon.
Summers were spent at Bible camp. There I met new friends and had countless crushes on girls. Mornings and evenings were chapel times. We had loud worship music and energetic sermons.
I was fully integrated into the establishment. Yet, I never felt completely a part of it.
When I was a child, I never bothered to question what the church was doing, or the social values they preached. For me, church simply was what existed. I might as well have questioned why I had a dad and a mom.
My dad took a break from the pulpit after Herbert, though that didn't slow our involvement in the church at all. Dad got into public works, and would spend over 8 years in that career until he felt called back into ministry. But as far as church went, we didn't skip a beat.
When Dad worked in Luseland, he took time off in the summer to do a kids ministry at Luseland Bible Camp. There, I helped him with the puppet show. It turns out I had a knack for funny voices. Thank you puberty.
Yet, as I grew up, I begin questioning the usefulness in what I was involved in. Being in a church where I grew up meant you were conservative, pro-choice, free-market loving, and never talked about sex except to comment how bad it was that everyone seemed be doing it.
I believed (and to this day, still do) believe in the Bible and in Christ. But I couldn't reconcile what I knew about Jesus and the political views pushed by the Church. And by my parents. As I began to slowly reject those various political views, a resentment started to build within me. I resented feeling I had to believe in a system that had little to do with loving others as ourselves, and more about trying to preserve some sort of status quo that I'm not sure ever existed in the first place. I honestly have had conversations with Christians who think that homosexuals try to trick other people into being gay (they call it recruiting. Like its the fucking army or something). And that liberals want woman to have abortions. Let me tell you, these never turn into thoughtful debates.
I look back at my involvement in church over the years, and I admit there was fun. I met good friends who I'm close to this day
But I never needed the church to have fun with friends. I needed the church to teach me about social justice, and about helping those who are the least of us. Instead, I got a crash course in social conservatism.
It became like that bike I tried to climb on all those years ago. It was something I was supposed to love and enjoy, but instead it fell and cut me open.
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