Friday, December 18, 2009

Finally an update

So I've been pretty busy lately, but new things are a foot. I've been keeping busy writing some fiction which is the explanation for my long absence, as if anyone really cares. I could have updated sooner, but you can only say "busy writing other shit" so often before the words become meaningless.
Also, my good friend Sheldon has come up with an idea for a website. The contributors would be me, Sheldo, and a friend of his. I think the tentative title for this site is REDACTED (cause apparently I'm not allowed to say) .
I won't go into the details on what it's all about, but I will note I'm excited about the possibilities.
And that is that. I could go on and write another post, maybe continue my Adventures in Christianity series, but I'm tired.
Deal with it.
Edit: Sheldo says the website is secret, so no one tell anybody!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

My Rememberance Day Tribute

Canadians kicking ass and taking names in Afghanistan.

I know its a day late. I didn't get the idea till now. Anyway, the video is totally badass.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Adventures in Christianity: Culture Warrior

It has taken me a long time to reconcile the ways I've experienced religion to what I feel about it now.
There was a time when I didn't question much about Western Christianity. The Bible was interpreted to say certain things, and I generally accepted that at face value.
Liberals wanted to destroy faith. The media was owned and operated by liberals with a liberal agenda. The left became not only a caricature, but a convenient scapegoat to unload all of societies ills. And every damn one of them had some agenda or another.
High divorce rates? Liberals undermining the sanctity of marriage. Or the gays. They are still working on that one.
More teens having sex? Liberal media making sex not sacred.
Economy sucks? Liberal politicians who took money from hard working people and gave it to lazy poor people.
And it was our job to take on the liberal/gay/commie agenda and win back the country for God.
Looking back on it all now, it all seemed so contrived. What were our goals? Some were concrete, like banning abortions. I remember our youth group being shown aborted fetuses to make us all see how bad it was to kill babies. Shock and awe.
But we were just kids. We never imagined there was another side of the debate. We were told that babies were being murdered, and here were the pictures (and video) to prove it. This was shown to some as young as 14. What chance did we have? It took me a long time to figure out that maybe some women get abortions for reasons other than they sold their soul to Satan. Like rape. Or they would die if they didn't.
We often heard about the gay agenda. I distinctly remember a Sunday school class where we were talking about homosexuals and someone said he wanted to take a torch and burn all the gays (I obviously lived in a pretty small town). We all laughed. Except our Sunday school teacher. She didn't think it was that funny, because we were to love the sinner. But even that was a bit to much for us. Of course, no one had a solution to whatever their agenda was. The best anyone has come up with is praying the gay away.
I later found out the gay agenda is for them to be treated like everyone else.
And it went on like this. Earlier I asked what the goals were. The goal was vaguely defined as winning the land for Jesus by warring with it's culture. We would bravely assault the fortress of secularism. And when that failed, we retreated into our own self-sustained mini-culture, complete with its own music, books, and politicians. That more than anything is why the whole things feels so contrived. We never tried to engage culture with dialog. We only wanted to conquer it. When we couldn't conquer it, we became like mad scientist and engineered our own.
In all this lies my frustration. I was told to fight a battle for Jesus, only to find out much later that all I was doing was defending a status quo that was never my own, nor did I ever have a say in. Christians are supposed to have the inside scoop on truth because God Himself revealed the truth through Jesus and through the Bible. But we don't do any better than the rest of the world. We divorce just us often as the rest of western civilization. Conservatives look at just as much pornography. Also, we're probably just as gay.
So we gossip, lie, and sleep around just like everyone else. The only difference is we keep saying how bad it is everyone does it and how we all should stop.
Where does all this insanity end? I don't know. I suppose a good step would be to leave our Christian coffee shops and books stores and go to someplace that's not literally selling Jesus.
Also, maybe we should stop spreading such ridiculous misinformation about what going on in our culture. Homosexuals are not tricking young men and women into having sex with them. We could have honest discussions on the role of government over a woman's reproductive rights instead of knee jerk reactions.
Finally, we should pick our battles more carefully. Fighting poverty is a winner. Fighting Muslims? Probably should have taken a pass on that one.
In the end, I don't know what to expect. Will the church change? Maybe. To paraphrase an old hippie saying; What if someone had a war and nobody showed up?
What if we just stopped fighting what we can't (and should never be allowed to ) control?
Jesus said if we loved each other like we love ourselves, we've summed up the entire Bible just like that.
Imagine a faith with no sharp edges to cut ourselves on.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Saturday Night Weird

Just saw Lady Gaga live on Saturday Night Live. Now, I have a crazy high tolerance for weird. But this chick is wack, even from a performance arts perspective. I can't even explain it. Youtube it if you get the chance.

As a side note, I plan on continuing my Adventures in Christianity series, or AIC for short. I am just working on the series. So I may have a bunch of posts come up at the same time. Deal with it.

UPDATE: Weekend Update on SNL was pretty funny. Minus the Charles Barkley part.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Funny stuff that I can take no credit for!



". . . like men once did."
Classic

Been thinking

and I'm seriously considering getting rid of my visit counter on the bottom of my blog. Its just depressing to look at. Though I do admit a certain thrill when I see the number go up by one. Then again, that is quickly followed by shame as I realize that I brought the count up by continuing to check to see if I have new comments. Or to see if the counter went up. Which it does, but only because I keep checking. You see what a vicious cycle this has become?

Adventures in Christianity: Crash course

Going to church was simply a part of my young life, like going to school. I took part in the Christmas plays, Sunday schools, and youth groups. When I got older, I led worship and once even preached a sermon.
Summers were spent at Bible camp. There I met new friends and had countless crushes on girls. Mornings and evenings were chapel times. We had loud worship music and energetic sermons.
I was fully integrated into the establishment. Yet, I never felt completely a part of it.
When I was a child, I never bothered to question what the church was doing, or the social values they preached. For me, church simply was what existed. I might as well have questioned why I had a dad and a mom.
My dad took a break from the pulpit after Herbert, though that didn't slow our involvement in the church at all. Dad got into public works, and would spend over 8 years in that career until he felt called back into ministry. But as far as church went, we didn't skip a beat.
When Dad worked in Luseland, he took time off in the summer to do a kids ministry at Luseland Bible Camp. There, I helped him with the puppet show. It turns out I had a knack for funny voices. Thank you puberty.
Yet, as I grew up, I begin questioning the usefulness in what I was involved in. Being in a church where I grew up meant you were conservative, pro-choice, free-market loving, and never talked about sex except to comment how bad it was that everyone seemed be doing it.
I believed (and to this day, still do) believe in the Bible and in Christ. But I couldn't reconcile what I knew about Jesus and the political views pushed by the Church. And by my parents. As I began to slowly reject those various political views, a resentment started to build within me. I resented feeling I had to believe in a system that had little to do with loving others as ourselves, and more about trying to preserve some sort of status quo that I'm not sure ever existed in the first place. I honestly have had conversations with Christians who think that homosexuals try to trick other people into being gay (they call it recruiting. Like its the fucking army or something). And that liberals want woman to have abortions. Let me tell you, these never turn into thoughtful debates.
I look back at my involvement in church over the years, and I admit there was fun. I met good friends who I'm close to this day
But I never needed the church to have fun with friends. I needed the church to teach me about social justice, and about helping those who are the least of us. Instead, I got a crash course in social conservatism.
It became like that bike I tried to climb on all those years ago. It was something I was supposed to love and enjoy, but instead it fell and cut me open.
Keep reading for more Adventures in Christianity.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Scott's Adventures in Christianity. An Introduction

I'm about 7 fingers deep into a bottle of whiskey right now. At least I think so. I emptied the bottle.
Work sucked today. Which is fine. Bad days happen. Tomorrow could easily be the best day of my life. I see no point in worrying. That my friends, is perspective.
I'm thinking about religion now. As usual. For those who don't know my well, I have a fairly strong views on religion. I'm a Christian. I'm a believer.
But what does this mean to me now?
My journey into religion started at birth. I was born the oldest son of a pastor in a Pentecostal church. The town it resides in is called Oxbow. Right next to the American border. My parents should have planned it so I could have been born in America. Maybe I could have obtained dual citizenship or something. Reagan was president at the time. I'm sure he would have been cool about it.
I have no real memories of my time in that small town. Family legend says I was the last baby to be born in that hospital before it closed due to budget cuts. Another weird Reagan legacy leeching its way through Canadian borders.
My first real memories of being in church involve another small town called Herbert. It had a strong Mennonite heritage, or so I was told later. We were only there for a few years. Long enough for me to scar my hand on the motorcycle my dad kept in the driveway.
You see, my dad loved to ride those bikes. Sometimes he would take me with him. I would sit at the front and he would sit behind me, keeping me safe as we explored the cold frontier of Saskatchewan.
On Sunday, Dad had left for early to prepare the church. Mom was getting me and the rest of the kids ready. It was during this morning rush, she lost track of me. I had wondered outside because I was bored of waiting. I was already dressed for church in my dress pants and tiny dress sweater. So I wandered up to the motorbike that sat in our driveway. I decided to climb up. Perhaps I wanted to experience the thrill of sitting on the beast as it took me across the wind-swept prairie. Or it could have been I longed for the security of being next to my father as we adventured through town. For whatever reason, I tried to climb the motorcycle. Of course, the thing fell on me and the brake handle broke off, slicing my four year old hand. The scar remains. Long and shaped like an "s". The doctor did a poor job of stitching it. It left me with a webbed finger. Seriously.
At any rate, I remember the shock of my mom's face as I cried out for her on the cold pavement. My blood seemed to pour down the incline of the driveway. I remember wondering briefly if I was going to die (I had never really been hurt before).
To this day, my parents talk about it. They figure I tried to climb the bike because I loved going on rides with my dad so much.
The odd thing is I have no memories at all of being on that bike. No dreams of the wind cooling my face as my father and I tame the wilderness on two wheels. I don't remember laughing with glee as we hit bumps and I rise gently in my seat feeling safe in the arms of the one who loves me best.
My only memory is of it spilling my blood on a cold morning, and watching it leak into the earth.
Stay tuned for more Adventures in Christianity.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

This is totally me

Friday, September 11, 2009

Crazy? Don't mind if I do.

Its 2:34 am. Why the hell am I still up?
Oh yeah. I don't work till 11.
Want to go to bed but can't stop reading stupid blog about psychotic insecure men. Damn you Sheldon and your ridiculous knowledge of the world wide blogosphere.
I've read so many that I'm starting to project all over the place. . . I am now deathly concerned I am becoming one of those crazy guys that spends their nights completely alone with only the glow of the computer screen to keep them warm. I'm seeing every interaction I've had with the female race through the gnawing fear of being a needy lame duck sociopath.
I don't even know what I meant by that.
And now my blog has become my own Frankenstein hybrid of twitter/facebook. Except no one is forced to look at it the updates.
. . . I wonder whats on Youtube . . .

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

So I'm not dead.

Now, I understand that there are few people who probably check out my blog anymore. Which is fine. I'm not caring to much about that anymore (adding: Damn you Sheldon and Matt for your continued blogging success).
Basically, I got a new job repairing furniture that required me to live in Winnipeg for a while and then when I got back I had no access to the interweb. This is the explaination for my absence.
But now I have my own place (where I live all by my lonesome) and have my very own handy dandy intertube connection device. Life is good.
I hung out with Sheldon last night and he reminded me that I enjoy blogging, and indeed, I even have a blog.
As far as content, I'll probably still post stupid shit and thoughts I think are Made of Awesome. And when the mood strikes, I'll do up a proper brain thinkin' blog.
Love always.
Me

Thursday, May 28, 2009

For days when I don't like me.

As a disclaimer, I should point out I'm generally a pretty happy person.
Yet, of late I've spent a lot of time thinking about who I am as an individual, and what that really means. I've questioned how I interact with the world, and what effect I have on it.
Unfortunately, I think I'm going through an existential crisis.
Even more unfortunately, that sounds really, really gay.
But whatever, that’s just how it is.
I think this all started when I got laid off from my job. I was cabinet making, and I actually really liked doing it. I had a plans and for the first time in a while, a goal for my life.
And suddenly it just all went away. Apparently God has a sense of humor that is far more sophisticated than mine.
At first, I felt ok. After that I felt sad. Then really panicky. Finally, I stopped caring.
This is not good for a number of reasons.
I have found through personal experience that the second you stop caring for yourself, by extension you stop caring for everything around you. It makes perfect sense. By nature we all love each ourselves first, and depending on how good we feel about ourselves at any given moments is usually an indicator on how we will treat other people. If you feel like crap about your week, you'll probably be a crappy person to be around.
So my challenge of late has been trying to act like a decent human being despite feeling my life is one big empty canvass.
But it’s not really me I want to discuss.
I have to wonder why being good to people is so hard, even in the best of times. If we're feeling happy about our lives, it’s easy to be nice to friends. Or beautiful people. But usually we gloss over the ugly things in life because thinking about them too much would kill our buzz. I find the most prudent thing in these times is to make fun of the "ugly" because it shows how much better we are for being lovely. What outrageous selfishness.
On the flip side, if we're feeling awful about ourselves, there is nothing more we'd like more than to watch the world burn. Especially the beautiful things. We instinctively demand that all share in our misery, and in our ugliness. What awful narcissism.
I'm starting to think this is the root of all sin.
For us to be good people no matter what we feel about what's going on, we have be counter intuitive. When I feel pretty good about how life is going, I have to share that joy with the hopeless and the miserable. Contrarily, when I despair I should probably reach out to someone who can help me even though I may hate the thought of it.
For all of life's complexities, I find it shocking that solutions are found in the simplest things. Like loving others like we love ourselves. If we all took a good hard look in the mirror, we tend to think we're pretty great. And if we insist on liking ourselves so much, we should at least earn it.
May God forgive us.
God, forgive me.

UPDATE: Another shout out to Sheldon

Well, I suck at keeping up with this. 20+ days since I have wrote anything. Believe me, its not because I don't have ideas. I actually had come up with a bunch of blog posts in my head, but I'm never anywhere near a computer when it happens.
Another thing that's kept me from the blogosphere is that I'm working on a novel, so that takes up a lot of my writing energy.
Still, I really enjoy this outlet. Sheldon texted me to write a new one, and so here I am.
Sheldon, I'm sorry I got to it a bit later than I said.
Anyways, my new "serious" blog will be posted above.
Basically, this is me creating needless apologetic filler.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

For Sheldon


I loled